Aborted Romeos — Three

[ThatYorùbáGuy]

Aborted Romeos

Two To Tango

There was the story of a man who travelled 500 miles from his town to see his lover in the city. His friends told him it was risky to travel that far without being sure he would see his lover, but love for something makes a man blind and deaf. Before long, he got to the city, and his lover was already married to a doctor. The moral of the story is that a man must seek love with his eyes and ears wide open.

The cab dropped me right in front of the duplex buildings inside the Onowo Estate neighbourhood.

"Take".

"Oga your money na #300."

"How so? No be #200 everybody dey pay?"

"If to say na estate gate I drop you naw, you for pay #200, but I carry you inside inside."

"You for tell me na."

"Oga abeg pay me, make I dey go."

I paid him the extra note. Today was a good day, and I was going to see Zara. It had been a couple of days (or nights) since we last saw each other.
She was staying with Jemima for a while, and I'll be damned if I didn't come to see her.

The duplex building was large, sitting in the middle of a fenced compound, and the ground apartment seemed uninhabited; Aliyu must be staying in the storey apartment.

"Ahan. English boy," Aliyu said while beckoning me up the stairs by the side of the building. He had come outside to take me in.

Amongst a group of close friends who were all shades of playboy and womanizer material, Aliyu was the most sensible, and after he met Anika at Alhaji Garba's birthday, he decided to forget his philandering adventures and settle down. I had overheard the other 3 sometimes teasing him about being tamed by a homely girl from the North— of all the vixens in Lagos.

" Good day Aliyu," I said, grinning cheerfully.

" Saanu. She's inside."

"Uhn?"

" See this boy o, you want to tell me you came all the way to the estate just to greet me abi you came to see Zara? Okay you've greeted me, come and be going."

"Haba, Aliyu."

We were both laughing by the time we got to the sitting room.

" Zara, you have a visitor," he called out.

It was almost noon, but she was still in her satin nightgown, the type one can wear comfortably around the house. It had a floral pattern that made her look more beautiful in it.

"Hi Jabari."

"Hey Zara."

"You came."

"Yeah. I mean, I came to see queen Zara."

"See this Soyinka o," she said lightheartedly, "make yourself comfortable."

The whole house was spacious and well furnished. Zara stays in one of the 3-bedroom apartments, and Ankika and Aliyu must have kept the other bedroom for their kids when they come.

Anika came out from one of the rooms, with her cousin behind her. Zara had gone inside to change into more befitting clothes. I and Anika greeted each other, and she asked about Mom and Dad.

"Big mummy nko?"

"She's good."

" Dear, could you imagine this boy had the effrontery to come into my house to see a woman?" It was Aliyu.

" Oh please, save it. You did more than that until Alhaji allowed you marry his favorite daughter." She rolled her eyes.

" He didn't give me a choice, he was too overprotective on you."

This was one of those familiar situations where someone cracks a joke in a room, and everybody laughs.
Aliyu was prepping for work already; if he had been unaware I was coming over, he would have since left.

"I have some leftover work to finish at the office today".

"Alright. See you."

"Anything you want me to get on my way back?"

" Not really, but if there is I'll text you."

"Bye professor Soyinka."

"Wahala dey o." Zara said in a mocking tone.

I had known Aliyu before he got married. Even though I have no idea how they became friends, he and Uncle Wems have forged a solid friendship over the years. He was family in the close sense of it.


"The way you just disappeared that night, it was not exactly how a gentleman should behave. You realize I was already leaving when you came back and asked for my number?"

"Yeah, I must have been a dick. I'm sorry."

" Me I have forgiven you o. I wouldn't have given you my number. Only God knows wether you used juju on me."

"Me ke? I can't do that naw."

" I hear you."


When Rotimi suddenly came to call me that night, I thought my uncle had some financial issues, or maybe some careless driver bashed his car. The scenario that played out was far from what I envisaged. Chuks and Aliyu tried to prevent Onome from biting off Uncle Wems' groin as she threatened.

"You bastard. You think you can just leave me, and dump me whenever you want, uh."

"Onome take it easy naw. We're in a public place."

I was a bit offended that Uncle Wems had called me out because of an enraged ex-girlfriend. Only God knows how he can date a woman who will throw off her wig and her shoes at the slightest provocation.

"That thing under you that is making you feel like a man ehn, I'll make sure you don't use it again", she said and then lunged at him.
It was almost funny to see a usually well-composed man like my uncle so disgruntled and dishevelled.
What I don't understand is why he would send for his nephew. Perhaps to perform some kind of magic to make it all go away, or recite some poems to bring Onome back to her senses. I doubt even Wolfgang would be able to do that.

"Wemimo said you should order an Uber right now."

"For whom?"

" Onome."

"Okay. What makes —"

"And you will escort her home, Jabari."

By some sheer dumb luck and 3 men including the orderly, Uncle Wems was able to free himself from Onome. The Uber man came exactly 35 minutes later and took me and an already sober Onome out of the hotel compound and off to Surulere. I didn't say anything throughout the drive that night, but she could sense that I felt her pain.
I realised the sense behind Uncle Wem's insistence on my taking her home; firstly, my uncle would not let Onome go home by herself, for fear she might harm herself or worse, kill herself; secondly, all three friends were as guilty as my uncle, and they would not want to be in the same car with her. What if she decided to take it out on one of them, and destroy their machinery for reproduction while inside the car?
I got her sister at home, and I was relieved that she wouldn't be alone in her house all through the night.

It was already 11 p.m. when I got back to Ikeja from Surulere, and Zara & Anika were taking their leave already. I don't know if I would have been able to forgive myself if I hadn't at least collected her phone number before she left.
And here I was, with her.

" So how are you able to come here on a Tuesday morning. You don't have work?"

"You have a naughty mouth."

"Trust me, I know."

" I'm a freelance writer. I write for Orange and Penguin House and a handful of smaller publishers. I write for individuals too, if their pay is good."

" Ahan, so you like money that much?"

" Who doesn't?"

"True."

"Let's talk about you. You told me you were staying here for a while."

" Yeah. I just finished NYSC at Akure. "

"Oshey. Our youth corper."

"Free me abeg."

" I'm all hears."

" Since Lagos is closer than our family house in Abuja, I decided to come stay here with Anika. At least till l figure out what to do next. Get a job, you know, and stuff like that. I can't keep relying on the pocket money Alhaji gives me every month."

" Hmm. That's actually thoughtful."

" Ahan. Thank you sir."

" If I give you blow," I said jokingly.

Perhaps one of the good things about the acclaimed Feminist Movement is the idea that at any rate, a young woman should be independent, to buy such things as a matchbox or a luxury car or take a trip around the world all by her purse.

"Let me fix you something to eat. We ate Quaker Oats this morning but Anika doesn't like to keep remnant food."

"No need to worry."

"You're a guest today. Before news spread that Zara does not like to welcome guests." The way she stressed the 'guests' made me laugh.

" Can we just go out to eat? I saw a restaurant close to the estate gate. We can walk there."

She looked at me animatedly.

"What?" I queried.

"You know, you can actually do better if you wanted to ask me out on a date."

" Arrgh. Okay mi seniora."

"Let me tell Anika."

" It's not as if I'll hold you down," Anika said. She was just coming out of her room. Her smile was mischievous, and I suspected she had been eavesdropping on us.

**********

There were pebbles of rainwater here and there when we got out of Yummy Tummy Restaurant. The weather was cold for a Tuesday mid-afternoon.

" I had fun."

"Or more precisely, you had food," I replied as we walked back inside the estate.

" Yeah, that too."

" I'm sure if Aliyu and his merry men got wind of this restaurant, they would always come here to eat."

"That's no exaggerating. I never knew their food tastes so good. Anika would be happy I got her a takeaway pack."

" You should go out more often."

" Yeah. I know right."

Time flew past quickly, and we got back to the house in a moment. Anika thanked me for the food pack when Zara gave it to her.

For another hour or two before I left, we talked about feminism, writing and some of her memories of Akure. She saw me off down the stairs and allowed me to give her a warm embrace. It felt like home. I wanted to stay here, maybe forever.

"Mr. Man that's okay. Come and be going."

I felt a connection between us, like a slow-burning flame, but she was able to conceal it. Perhaps she would make a good actor.

"I'd call you." I managed to say.

"You better do."

[akudugu Oscar]

Becoming a better person is a lifelong journey, and there are many ways to work towards personal growth and self-improvement. Here are a few suggestions:

1. Self-reflection: Take time to reflect on your actions, thoughts, and behaviors. Identify areas where you feel you could improve and set goals for yourself.

2. Practice empathy: Try to understand and relate to the feelings and experiences of others. Treat people with kindness, respect, and compassion.

3. Continuous learning: Engage in activities that expand your knowledge and skills. Read books, take courses, or pursue hobbies that challenge you and help you grow.

4. Set boundaries: Learn to say no when necessary and prioritize your own well-being. Establishing healthy boundaries can help you maintain balance in your relationships and personal life.

5. Practice gratitude: Cultivate a mindset of gratitude by regularly acknowledging and appreciating the positive aspects of your life. This can help shift your focus towards the good and increase your overall happiness.

6. Take responsibility: Hold yourself accountable for your actions and choices. Learn from your mistakes and strive to make amends when necessary.

Remember, personal growth is a continuous process, and it's important to be patient and kind to yourself along the way.